My Boyfriend Doesn’t Want to Have Sex Anymore - What Should I Do?

5 min read

The first reason why your partner may not want to have sex with you anymore is that he feels the chemistry of attraction for you is lost. On the other hand, you may think he is having an affair. There are many other reasons why your guy's sex drive might be diminishing or experiencing sudden changes. Below are some of the reasons as to why his sex drive might be declining.

Why a Man Doesn't Want to Have Sex Anymore

Are you worried and disturbed by thoughts like "My boyfriend doesn't want to have sex anymore?” If you want to keep your sex life alive, you might want to know the possible reasons why your man doesn't want to have sex anymore.

1. Loss of attraction

Loss of attraction often happens to couples who are in a long-term relationship. Attraction is the combination of sexual chemistry and pleasure. When attraction fades, a man will lose the desire for their partner. Some of the reasons may be that you have gained weight, he is no longer into you, you no longer try to please him, or relationship boredom.

2. Low testosterone levels killed his sex drive

Men are affected by hormones just like women. Testosterone hormones are responsible for sex drive. When the level of testosterone drops, your man will not be interested in having sex. A low testosterone level is caused by aging, medications or severe health issues. Low testosterone levels are linked to weak erections and decreased libido. If your man exhibits these signs, it is time to see a doctor.

3. Performance anxiety

Men are proud creatures, and when it comes to sex, they tend to take pride in their ability to get and sustain a firm erection. They believe keeping an erection is what will make their partner satisfied sexually. If your man worries about his ability to perform sexually and sustain an erection, he may be reluctant to initiate sex, even though he is attracted to you. Performance anxiety can be rectified, but you will need to see a doctor.

4. Too much porn

Your husband doesn't want sex because he is addicted to porn. Some men prefer masturbating to porn rather than with their lover because they find it more exciting and self-satisfying. Too much porn will cause your partner to have much unrealistic sex expectations. As a result, he will get less sexual satisfaction with you, and in the end, he may not want to have sex with you anymore. You might need to talk to him regarding deleting all his porn videos and accounts.

5. Boredom

Boredom leads to loss of interest in sex with one's lover. This might happen if you have stayed with him for many years and he starts to feel like you no longer satisfy him nor does he satisfy you sexually. You might need to change your approach to intimacy to improve the sexual dynamics.

6. Affairs

'My husband doesn't want to have sex with me' because he might be having an affair or he is guilty because he knows it hurts you - do you often think this way? One of the primary reasons why external affairs begin is because one partner may feel not sexually satisfied by the other. As a result, a partner might look for a solution elsewhere. Solutions might include sexting, love affairs, use of escorts, online dating and many more. If you feel your husband is having an affair, don't jump to conclusions but look for the red flags.

7. What is he drinking?

Men usually take alcohol to relax but what they do not know is that alcohol affects their sex drive. Also, stimulants such as coffee affect his libido. Caffeine found in coffee causes high-stress levels which in turn can cause a low sex drive.

8. A potential health condition or medication

Some medical conditions can affect his sex drives, such as cardiovascular problems, renal problems, diabetes, cystic fibrosis, prostate cancer, and pituitary tumors. If your guy has problems in this area, work with a doctor to find a remedy.

Furthermore, prescription drugs such as antidepressants, beta blockers, anti-anxiety, and some other medicines can mess up men's hormones. The sexual changes that occur due to prescription drugs are temporary and furthermore are fixable when you see your doctor.

What to Do If Your Partner Has a Low Sex Drive

If you feel disconnected from physical intimacy, you might consider the following tips to reconnect with your sexual partner.

  • Talk to your partner

Talking to your partner about your sex life can be quite uncomfortable. However, it matters a lot. Find the best time and the best place to talk to him. Explain to him what you need and want and how he can contribute to it. Be honest and open, and do not make him feel pressured.

  • Look for the cause together

A low sex drive doesn't just affect him - it affects you too. You will need to tackle the problem together since it is a relationship problem. Look for the cause together and perhaps you will find the solution to that problem.

  • Start educating yourself

Make online sites your friend and start educating yourself on communicating with your partner, and getting intimate with your partner. You might also want to seek the services of a sex therapist to help you figure out the cause and how to reconnect with your mate.

  • Initiate sex more

Does the issue "My boyfriend doesn't want to have sex anymore” concern you? Maybe your partner has always taken the role of the initiator and has grown tired of the role. So why don't you take up the role and see what happens? It is important for the initiator role to be interchanged to meet each partner's need.

  • Be patient

Your partner might not want to talk to you about his decreased libido so the first few conversations about it might not go well. Be patient as you wait for him to open up. Let him know that you are tackling the issue together and you appreciate his efforts.

The Final Word

"My boyfriend doesn't want to have sex with me” can be a thought-provoking subject to discuss. Sex is one of the main pillars that hold a relationship together. Whenever problems occur, couples should solve problems together with excellent communication and patience.

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